Are You Ready For It?
First of all, this is Dianne (Emily’s mom) writing, but I am going to give Emily editorial oversight, lol.
We are so excited that you’re planning to make the trip to India in February for the wedding festivities, and we want it to be an experience you’ll never forget! I have lots to tell you to prepare you for what you’ll encounter in India, so let’s get started.
As many of you know, Emily, Anu and I went to India at the beginning of October, and it was a great trip! Delhi was not at all what I had expected, and I really enjoyed the city, at least the parts we spent time in. My preconceived notions about India largely resulted from seeing Slumdog Millionaire, which I think was set in Mumbai, and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but what I encountered in Delhi was totally different. To be honest, I had expected the city to be somewhat dirty and smelly, teaming with people, and full of unreadable signs in Hindi, so you can imagine how impressed I was when I walked off the plane (after a 14-hour direct flight) into a modern, clean airport where all the signage was in English. First impression, very good! Getting through immigration took a few minutes but basically was easy, and by the time we got to the baggage claim, our bags were off the carousel and waiting for us. It could not have gone more smoothly, which was nice because we were pretty knackered from the long flight.
Before I go on, though, let me give you a heads-up about some things to do to prepare for the trip.
Before You Go
Tourist Visa
You will need to get a tourist visa to enter the country, but you have to wait until 30 days before your trip to apply for one. Don’t worry—it’s actually plenty of time, as it usually takes only a day or two to be approved. To be on the safe side, you might want to set a calendar reminder 30 days before your departure, so you don’t forget to take care of this essential task. (Emily and Anu will also send out a reminder email in January.) You can apply online at https://indianvisaonline.gov.in/evisa/ There is a $25 fee and you’ll need to upload a photo of the inside of your passport (the two main pages), so it’s a good idea to have that ready before you start the process.
You’ll also need to upload a headshot with a white background, so again, it will save time and trouble if you have that ready to upload as well. I received two headshots when I had my photo taken for my passport renewal, so I took a photo with my phone of the extra passport photo I had. There are very specific instructions to follow regarding the background color and size of the photo, so that’s why I suggest you use an extra passport photo if you have one—but if you don’t have one, just follow the directions (I think it also has to be a .png file instead of a .jpeg, if I remember correctly).
Filling out the online form is pretty straightforward, but don’t be alarmed if you get randomly kicked out of the system. It happens. Just be sure you’ve saved your information so you don’t have to start over. I said a bad word a couple of times, but in retrospect, it wasn’t a terrible experience, just a minor aggravation, as any government website is prone to be.
When you receive notification that you’ve been approved, print out a copy of the email and put it with your passport. You’ll have to show both when you go through immigration. The immigration officers speak English, so you should have no trouble communicating with them. They may ask why you’re visiting India (my officer joked about whether I was doing some kind of Eat, Pray Love trip because apparently that’s why a lot of American women my age come to India), but they were very nice to us and waved us through pretty quickly.
Vaccinations
When I asked Emily about shots, she told me we didn’t need to get any, but I asked my doctor and she told me to call the health department. Well, good luck with that. I called several times, never got through, left messages, and never heard back. A travel agent friend of my sister suggested we contact Passport Health, so I checked out their website at passporthealthusa.com and made an appointment. The company does not take insurance, so you pay out of pocket for their consultation, which is about $100, and all the shots you decide to get. They are in the business of selling shots, so obviously their presentation is designed to “encourage” you to get as many shots as possible. As it turned out, I had waited so long to investigate all this that the shots would not have protected me for most of the trip, so I didn’t get any.
While there are no required vaccinations for traveling to India, the doctor I saw did recommend that, at the very least, I get Hepatitis A and typhoid shots before February. She also recommended those two for Mexico, so any family members planning to go to Mexico next year may want to get those two. The doctor also gave me a prescription for an anti-malaria medicine and a z pack, which I got filled before I left. If you decide to take the anti-malaria medicine, be aware that you have to begin the anti-malaria medicine a couple of days before you leave and continue it for a week after your return, so don’t wait until the very last minute—I got the prescription in the nick of time. It’s also a good idea to check with your primary care doctor to be sure you’re up to date on regular vaccinations like MMR, DPT, polio booster, chicken pox (if you didn’t have it as a child), etc.
One more thing: Passport Health sells a few over-the-counter items, including an insect spray that they say is as powerful as Deet but doesn’t have the chemicals Deet has. I bought a bottle but ended up not using it because we didn’t spend much time outside and therefore weren’t really at risk of being bitten by any mosquitos or other bugs. It might be a good idea to get some kind of bug spray to bring for the wedding, though, because several of the ceremonies will be outdoors and it might not be a bad idea to have that extra protection.
Passport Health also had a product that was supposed to protect you from “Delhi belly” with a probiotic and some kind of medication that helps prevent a bacterial infection. I did not get that—and regretted it. You don’t necessarily have to get Passport Health’s product, but I strongly advise taking something that will help you avoid intestinal problems. I thought I could make do with Imodium, which ended up being my salvation, but I should have taken more preventive measures. I highly recommend taking Imodium with you as well, and perhaps Pepto Bismol tablets. We are expecting to have good food at the wedding, but you just never know if something might disagree with you. I also took some Tylenol with me because the anti-malaria medicine can cause headaches, but I never had any side effects from that medication.
I will say, I don’t think Delhi or Agra is a big risk for serious infections (and February is not a time of year when insects are swarming, apparently) but you’ll have to decide how much protection you want to have. There were some monkeys in the trees at the entrance to the hotel in Agra (they chattered at us but didn’t come down out of the trees), but the only other animals we saw were cows roaming the streets and lazy dogs sleeping outside of stores, so the chance of encountering an animal infected with some dread disease is slim, I imagine.
Clothing to Pack
The weather is supposed to be pretty moderate in February, with highs in the 70s and lows in the high 50s at night. It was in the 90s when we first arrived in October but cooled off to the 80s toward the end of our trip. I suggest you bring cotton clothing and a sweater or jacket for cooler temps. The transitional clothes we’re wearing right now would probably work well. Indians wear bright colors instead of dark, somber ones, so bear that in mind when you’re putting together outfits for the trip.
As to wedding attire, the American wedding will be formal, but not black tie. Suits for men and long dresses or cocktail attire for women—whatever you’d wear to an early evening wedding in the U.S.—will be great. Be aware that Indian women are very modest, so low-cut or backless dresses, teeny minis, and high leg slits are probably not a good idea, even though they are perfectly normal attire for an American wedding. You don’t have to dress like a nun, but we hope you ladies will be respectful of Indian mores and not wear anything too revealing. That said, my dress for the American ceremony is a one-shoulder number, so I will be showing a little skin (which Emily approved).
We are not asking American family members and friends to dress in Indian attire for the Hindu ceremonies, but if you’d like to, we’re trying to arrange for rentals of sarees and lehengas to be available. You might also want to check out options on Etsy or other online sources, if you’d prefer to purchase a saree, lehenga, or kurta, which is a long tunic worn with lightweight pants underneath. There are some reasonably priced options, so take a look online and see what you think! Whatever you decide to do, the Hindu evening ceremonies on the 19th and 20th will be dressy, particularly the wedding ceremony the evening of February 20. And as far as jewelry goes, go big! Wedding jewelry in India is over the top, so if you have chandelier earrings and other statement jewelry, they will be right on the mark.
My Impressions of India
As I mentioned, my preconceived notions about Delhi went right out the window after we arrived. The airport is about 45 minutes from the city (kind of like JFK) and I can tell you that the drive into Delhi is beautiful, with wide, leafy avenues, traffic roundabouts, and lots of flower gardens. That part of Delhi is very upscale and actually reminded me a little of Neuilly, an affluent neighborhood in Paris—just lovely! I should pause and say that cars have the steering wheel on the righthand side and Indians drive on the left side of the road, like the British.
Traffic
I would advise you NOT to rent a car and attempt to drive in Delhi. Traffic signs are in English, so navigating wouldn’t be a major issue, but traffic in Delhi is like none I’ve ever experienced. Before visiting Delhi, I thought Mexico City and Caracas had the craziest traffic, but Delhi has them beat. Rome is a paragon of orderly traffic in comparison. I gripped the door handle and called upon the Lord a few times, particularly when I saw a car coming directly toward us. Not sure if it was divine intervention or just normal driving, but the driver bearing down on us always managed to get out of the way before hitting us head-on. Definitely a “Jesus, take the wheel” moment for me.
As far as I could tell, the rules of the road were 1) honk to let someone know you’re coming up on their left or right, 2) muscle your way in, and 3) let other honkers in if you can’t prevent them from cutting you off. There are multiple lanes, but they are only a suggestion and you usually don’t see people staying in their lane unless there’s very little traffic (which is rare). I should note that traffic consists of trucks, buses, cars, motorcycles, bicycle rickshaws, small three-wheeled vehicles, bicycles, and the occasional cow or pedestrian (in very slow-moving traffic jams).
The good news is that taxis and Ubers are cheap and plentiful. Emily and I took an Uber Black from our hotel to a mall and that 30-minute ride cost us about $4. Another Uber Black cost about $6 for a similar trip. And these were nice cars. We took a taxi to Agra, but I’m not sure how much it cost. It was about a three-hour trip. We are trying to arrange for a bus or van to take American guests from Delhi to Agra, so you won’t have to be concerned about transportation to and from Agra. Stay tuned for more details on that.
All that said, I didn’t see a single wreck, though I did see some cars with scrapes on the sides, so I guess mishaps do happen from time to time. However chaotic the traffic is, everyone seems to know how to handle it and unlike in the United States, people look out for other drivers and don’t seem to flaunt whatever traffic laws there are. I also saw lots of trucks with “Blow Horn” painted on the back and sides as a reminder.
Because of the traffic, getting anywhere in Delhi (or Agra) takes a while, so build in plenty of travel time if you’re planning to do any sightseeing or shopping while you’re there. Speaking of sightseeing, we are trying to arrange an early-morning tour of the Taj Mahal while we’re in Agra, so again, look for more information on that later (we didn’t have time to visit the Taj Mahal while we were there, so that’s a must on my list, for sure!)
Pollution
Pollution was not bad when we were there in October, but I understand it could be worse in Delhi in February. This is because they burn off crops after the harvest and that smoke causes a rise in pollution. Generally, smells were not terrible while we were there, but this could be different in February, due to higher pollution. It’s my understanding that pollution in Agra is not a big problem, so it should not be an issue during our outdoor ceremonies. I brought some N95 masks on our trip and will probably bring them again in February, in case we need some. I think they came in a pack of 20 on Amazon.
Service Culture
We found the people in the hotels, restaurants, and shops we visited to be absolutely wonderful, which is all the more amazing because no tipping is expected in India! Waiters in restaurants, taxi and Uber drivers, and housekeeping staff in hotels also do not expect a tip.
We received excellent service in stores, as well. Salespeople not only will help you with draping a sari, fitting you into a lehenga, showing you jewelry, or getting your size in shoes, but they also will almost always offer bottled water, coffee, or tea. And they all speak good English so we had no problem communicating with them. Taxi and Uber drivers usually don’t speak as much English, but in the case of Uber drivers, they know where you want to go, so there’s not much need to communicate otherwise. And FYI, the desk clerk at our second hotel told us Ubers were less expensive than taxis and advised us to use them instead of taxis for that reason.
Security
Perhaps it was because Delhi is the capital and center of government, but I was a little surprised at the level of security we encountered. When we arrived at a hotel, our baggage and handbags were scanned and we had to walk through a metal detector. At the malls we visited, our handbags were scanned and women had to go to a curtained area to be wanded, while men walked through a metal detector. Same thing in the subway. We did not experience this in Agra, only in Delhi. And when we were getting ready to fly home, we went through the usual airport security but then had to have our handbags and carry-on luggage scanned again at the gate. It’s routine and the security people are unfailingly polite, so it’s not a big deal, just something to be aware of.
Hotels
Emily and I stayed in three different hotels in Delhi and all three were very nice. Our favorite, however, was the Radisson in Noida, where we stayed after returning from Agra. It is a lovely hotel and has a fabulous breakfast. It’s also very near our favorite mall, which meant we didn’t have to fight a lot of traffic the next day to get to the mall to wrap up our shopping. If you like to have a big breakfast, you’ll be in heaven in India, as the hotels lay out a spread every day that rivals Sunday brunch in the U.S. The Radisson’s was amazing. It also had restaurants that served American-style food, which was kind of nice to have for a change (although the mall in Noida had a Krispy Kreme, a Domino’s pizza, and a Starbuck’s!)
The hotels all had hair dryers, so no need to bring yours (if you decide to bring it anyway, or if any fellows want to bring an electric shaver, you’ll need a converter). I think all the hotels provided bottled water because you will want to avoid tap water at all costs, even when brushing your teeth. Interestingly, not a single hotel supplied washcloths, so if you are accustomed to washing your face or showering with a washcloth, you’ll need to bring your own—or use the end of a hand towel, as I did.
The Grand Imperial Hotel in Agra
Delhi was a cosmopolitan city, but Agra was more in line with what I was expecting India to be like. The streets are narrower and more maze-like, and we were exposed to more poverty than we had been in Delhi. But the Grand Imperial Hotel is a little oasis and was perfectly charming. Except for the American ceremony, all the wedding festivities will be at the hotel, so there will be no need to worry about transportation—you’ll just walk out of your room and over to the next party! Our room was very nicely decorated in traditional Indian style and the bathroom was very modern (I had been a little concerned about that). The hotel has welcomed some very prominent guests in the past, including the Shah of Iran and his wife in the 1960s, and has photos and other memorabilia on the walls of a corridor that give you an idea of some of its history. You will be welcomed in a lovely way when you arrive. There are two outdoor spaces, a garden and a pool area with a surrounding garden, as well as an upstairs ballroom where the Mehndi and the Sangeet will take place. The Hindu wedding ceremony will be in the gazebo by the pool. It is really beautiful at night!
Hindu Wedding Customs
When we tried to explain to Anu’s parents that American ceremonies start on time, are fairly short, and guests sit in rows of chairs, they seemed to have some difficulty visualizing that because it’s so different from Hindu ceremonies. They were puzzled when we told them that Americans wait until after the ceremony to repair to tables to eat and drink. Not so in a Hindu ceremony. There’s food at every event, and since a Hindu ceremony can go on for a while, guests are free to get up and wander over to get food whenever they want.
The food at all the festivities in February will be vegetarian and largely Indian, although we will include some American vegetarian options at every ceremony. There may be some other non-Indian selections, but I don’t think the menu has been finalized yet. The Pandeys are making the food selections and they know good food, so I’m sure it will all be delicious. There’s not usually a wedding cake, but there will be lots of sweets, so give them a try! I tasted several sweets, including some specialties of Agra, and they were delightful!
Be aware that alcohol is not served at Hindu ceremonies, but you’re welcome to bring alcohol and drink in your room. The older generations don’t drink, so please be respectful and don’t be visibly intoxicated around children or elders. I’m thinking most of us will be so fascinated by all the Hindu rituals that we won’t want to get totally plastered. We met several of Anu’s cousins and they are adorable—and lots of fun! They are really excited about experiencing an American wedding for the first time (and meeting Emily’s American friends and family), so I think they’ll be fun to party with!
Going To and From Agra
As I mentioned previously, we are trying to arrange transportation for all the American guests, so you won’t have to worry about getting to and from Agra. It is about a three-hour drive from Delhi to Agra, and it is a nice, straight road. However, we did not see gas stations every few miles as in the U.S., only a rest stop here and there with what appeared to be somewhat dirty public restrooms, a restaurant that might or might not be sketchy, and a convenience store selling snacks. So my advice to you is bring bottled water and a snack if you think you’ll need it and, as the license plate of one of the moms at the Belle Meade Children’s Center read, PB4UGO.
The Hindu wedding ceremony on the 20th will probably go for several hours, so you won’t be able to get back to Delhi in time to catch a plane that night. You’ll need to leave the next day, which will give you plenty of time to get back to Delhi, head for the airport, and catch your plane, as many flights leave in the middle of the night. You should probably give yourself about seven hours to do all that—three hours to get back to Delhi, a couple of hours max to get to the airport once you arrive in Delhi, and another couple of hours to get checked in, through security, and to the gate.
Shopping
One of the reasons that I had such a good time in Delhi was because it was largely a shopping trip for wedding attire, and this girl loves nothing more than a good reason to buy new clothes. Getting Emily’s outfits for the Hindu ceremonies was obviously the top priority, but as the MOB, I also needed to get some, so shop we did. We went to a couple of outdoor shopping areas and two different malls, both of which were new and modern, but our favorite was the mall near the Radisson in Noida. Not only did we find wedding attire there, but we stumbled onto a store that sold block-printed clothing, tablecloths and other home goods, and fabric by the meter—and we had a field day.
In addition, we bought jewelry (wedding jewelry for Emily and gold costume jewelry for me), embroidered flats for Emily to wear to one of the ceremonies, scarves for me, and so many other things. Even Anu did some shopping for shoes and fall and winter clothing. The mall had three floors and a food court on the fourth floor, and it was beautiful. The prices were amazing and I deeply regret not buying more, but I’ve made my list and intend to rectify that situation in February.
If you possibly can, try to give yourself a little time to shop in Delhi. The mall is a very nice way to shop, but there’s also the Khan Market, which is a somewhat touristy outdoor shopping area with some nice shops. Dilly Haat is another outdoor market, which Emily loves. We ran out of time and didn’t get there, but that’s on the list to do before we head to Agra to prepare for the wedding.
Mobile Passport Control
I highly recommend you get the U.S. Customs and Border Protection MPC app, if you haven’t already. It makes getting through customs a snap when you get back to the States. It’s very easy to set up and you can put up to 12 family members on your submission. You may already know this, but in case you don’t, you’re allowed to bring in $800 worth of purchases duty free. We didn’t declare anything, so they just waved us through since we had the app. Piece of cake.
I do suggest you download the app and set it up in advance because I didn’t and I had to snap a photo of myself on the fly as part of the setup. After a 16-hour flight, I looked like I had been shot out of a cannon, but the U.S. government let me back into the country anyway.
That’s about all I have for now, but if I think of anything else, I’ll post it. We can’t wait for February and are so grateful that you want to be a part of the celebration! We’re going to have a wonderful time!
